Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
