So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
