Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have post one night stand depression
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