Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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