Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
