I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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