Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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