the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
