Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
