There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
