turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Im part way to drunk.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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