Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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