Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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