watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
