Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
