I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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