Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
