I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
