He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
