discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
