Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
