I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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