Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
