how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
