so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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