well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
