Fine. I'll sleep in my office
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
