I just made out with a guy for $7.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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