I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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