Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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