So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
