well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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