I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
