is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
