I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
