jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
