I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
