I'm going to jail i love you
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
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