I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
