dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
