your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
