I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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