Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
