He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
