In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
