So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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