ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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