You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
