Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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