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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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