I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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