She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
