She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
