i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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