Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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