girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We are all done wearing pants today
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
